A few weeks ago, I visited my two daughters who live in NYC. I hadn’t seen them in months and was looking forward to hanging out with them. I also planned to make significant progress on a business project I have been working on. I packed my notebooks, laptop, and current read (written by my future best friend, Brene Brown).
From the first moment I saw my girls, time stopped. We were in our own world… reconnecting, sharing, and laughing our asses off!
It was like a week-long slumber party.
We cried, reminisced, deconstructed, and analyzed. We shopped, decorated, partied, ate sushi, and made raw food meals. (Thank you raw food chef, Judita Wignall!) We did spend one evening working on my biz… but for the most part, we were just…us.
I was feeling a bit apologetic when I returned home to Nashville. But, to whom? For what? For being completely present? For strengthening our relationship? For building memories? For living what I teach?
My mastermind biz partner reminded me that I was living in the moment. That I should have no regrets, and that I did indeed “work on” my business while I was there: Learning to navigate the adult mom~daughter relationship can be a joy or a struggle. So many women feel anger
and resentment toward their moms throughout adulthood.
My girls and I are choosing joy.
We are able to speak our truth because there is no judgment or consequence for being ourselves. Looking back on my week, I see that we are moving gracefully into this new adult space. We fully accept each other.
It’s not rocket science, but it does take willingness to break bad habits and put away ego.
Moms, we’ve done our “work” raising them… now sit back and enjoy who your daughter is becoming, and the sparkle she is creating.
Here is some Relationship Glitter to throw around:
- Live in the moment. BE where she is.
- Don’t offer advice unless it's specifically asked for. Seriously, don’t.
- LAUGH every chance you get!
- Look for new ways to give. Small gestures like new kitchen towels or a plant. Give nothing more intrusive than what you would give a best friend. (in other words… nothing passive aggressive)
- Don’t forget to say thank you. Words, notes, emails, texts… whatever your style, remember to recognize her for spending time with you.
- Make plans. Build on the relationship you have by connecting with her in new ways. Maybe it’s a summer beach trip, a cake decorating class, or learning to make different kinds of sangria.
Enjoy your daughter as she follows her dreams.
Remember, her journey is not your journey.